Love Me

I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a student, 

a young girl and a grown ass woman. 

I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. 

I am loving, and caring, and thoughtful, and hopeful. 

I am sick and tired.

I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless.

I am broken and whole. 

I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead.

I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside.

I wish on stars and dream my dreams.

I pray to God and cry my tears.

I smile on the outside while Im dying on the inside. 

I listen to others who wont listen to me. 

I walk on eggshells and walk on fire. 

I believe in passion and true love. 

I love you and push you away.

I am everything and nothing all at once. 

And all I want if for you to

Love Me.

Smooches xoxo

Happy 25th

Yeah yeah my birthday was back on October 1st so what. I came across this picture while I was browsing the internet... Happy Birthday to ME. 

Smooches xoxo

FallingWater

An architectural masterpiece by the one and only Frank Lloyd Wright. One of these days Imma take a trip up to Bear Run, Pennsylvania and admire this fine piece of work.

Smooches xoxo

"Get Your Own Shit"

"Get your own shit why you ridin mine"

Smooches xoxo

#NoLoafZone

LCD and DJ Uneek have come together again and dropped the first mixtape off the new #NoLoafZone series. I have always been a big supporter of all FNFG... those that know me personally will tell you my ipod is full of Bout Dat Money music. Not just my ipod tho, this blog, and my twitter, and no Im not biased because I was given the title of a Bout Dat Money Honey by LCD lol. The music speaks for itself and UneekSound did his thing mixing this joint. DEFINITELY get this in your life. Stop Loafing!!! #FNFG

Click Here ---> #NoLoafZone <--- DOWNLOAD

Shoutouts to LCD, DJ Uneek, Ice the Villain, Dee Boy, G-Two & KPrime (BlackSand), Phresh Ali, B.P. Cooper, Ricosuave, Mr. Everywhere, Chill, Klassact, Tha Mr, Pizo, and Blakkwood. H.O.M.E.Grown and FNFG. 

Smooches xoxo

Listen Up...

Fellas: you know you don't have to wait until we hit you up. You are always more then happy to pick up your phone and give us a call/text/BBM. That thing we call A CellPhone DOES work both ways.  #JustSaying

Smooches xoxo

Cyhi Da Prynce Freestyle

I've been bumping Cyhi Da Prynce's mixtape "Royal Flush" for a few weeks now and have become quite the fan. Here he is freestyling. Check out my previous post on Cyhi to download the mixtape. 

"Miss Us"

It's D. Omen and G-Two featuring Consequence with "Miss You." Show of Hands coming sooon....

Smooches xoxo

Travis Barker

This has to be the COOLEST fucking white boy EVER. Dopeness.

Smooches xoxo

"Go Ninja Go Ninja GO"

This is my shiiit lol. It's that "Ninja Rap"

Smooches xoxo

Southern California

New music from Lega-c produced by J Mistro. It's the first released song from their upcoming EP "Pulling On Her Hamstrings" which is to be released on Valentines Day 2011. 

Also check out http://lega-c.bandcamp.com/

Smooches xoxo

Party Up: DMV Remix

Mark Milly, Reality "The Don," Ice The Villain, and G-Two in "Party Up: DMV Remix."

Smooches xoxo

"She's Single"

YESSSS I HAD TO DO IT. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can never go wrong with some Raheem and this video right here takes the cake lol. Might as well consider this to be that soft porn that comes on HBO. Raheem DeVaughn's "She's Single."

I must say Ive NEVER seen the "69 position" reenacted in a music video. Kudos Mr DeVaughn. KUDOS.

Smooches xoxo

"Anyone But Him"

New Video from Mr Hudson feat Kanye West "Anyone But Him." DOPENESS forreal. 

Smooches xoxo

Castle Walls

Alright anyone that knows me knows that I've followed Christina Aguilera ever since "Genie In A Bottle" (yeah Im sooo serious.) I absolutely LOVE this chick so when I heard she had a record out with T.I. I had to check it out. The track is dope but word of advise for T.I. stop apologizing for what you've done. I think we've all heard enough of these "Life Changing" songs from you.

 

 

Smooches xoxo

And The Nominees ARE....

Not really into award shows the way I used to be but did wanna take the time out to congratulate all those that have been nominated. CONGRATS!!! *fist pump*

Allllrighty then....

Mr. Marshall Mathers leads with 10 nominations including Record Of The Year, Song Of The Year, and Album Of The Year.... owww. Bruno Mars is pulling in 7. Hov has 6. John Legend, B.O.B, and Lady Gaga have 5. Drizzy, Rihanna, and Cee-Lo, arent too far behind them with 4 nominations.

Random Thought: I would absolutely LOVE to see Raheem DeVaughn win Best R&B Album for "The Love & War Masterpiece"


Smooches xoxo

Juicy

Ms. Dev Dapree dropped her second single off her 90s Flow mixtape. Take a listen. Joint features M-Dubb and Jasmine. The mixtape drops New Years Eve 12.31.2010 #DMV baby

 

Smooches xoxo

Free Ballin

I wanna experiment with something real quick so if this following post jumps from one thing to the next it's because Im literally just typing whatever comes to mind. For the next 10 mins Imma just "write"/ type without stopping. Whatever comes to mind is what Imma say so BEWARE!!! Dont judge me on the bipolarness. 


Mistakes are going to be made within our lifetime. Noone is perfect and it's an impossability to even think that it's possible. Ive made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime but have always tried to learn from them all. Im currently at a turning point in my life. At a point where i literally have to man up to my responsibilities and take action to better my life but this isnt only for me but for Ava and Aisha. Those two rugrats are the fire in my heart that keeps me burning. I wouldnt have done half the shit ive experienced if it wasnt for them. Never putting ANY of the blame on them for my misduings but I know Ive stooped down to levels that I never thought i would be in in order to just put food in their stomachs and clothes on their backs. If there is anything that I want my daughters to know is that they dont EVER have to do half of the shit that Ive done in order to get thru life. I dont want the same kinda life that Ive had to grow accustomed to for them. I wanna wake up one day and be able to be in complete bliss with myself and my life. I wanna be able to wake up everyday and be happy that I am "struggle free" and when I say struggle free I mean financially dependent of my damn self, not EVER needing shit from anyone else. Not ever having to look down on someone because you oiwe them, and not ever having to take any more disrespect from anyone because they helped you get out of a situation. I wanna be able to be ina position where my daughters see that ME their mother made it without the help of any man to get them thru. They need to know that it is most certainly possible to have a great life without a companion. The struggle right now is having to let go. Having to face reality. A reality that Im not sure that I can bear right now. The reality that Im gonna be alone in doing this. the reality that I may just be creating more harm to my children BUT knowing that if I dont Im only creating more harm against myself...


10 mins are up.... hmmm I woulda thought that there would been more written but whatever, Imma just post it. 


Smooches xoxo

#RealShit

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." 

-Taylor Benson 

 

 
Smooches xoxo

I Love You.

Love. Such a strong word. A word that seems to be thrown around alot without any doubt. No regret. No faith. No real compassion. No real Love. 

I want you. I need you. I have you deep in my heart. I feel you wanting to be released but hold back because of the fear of the outcome. I've felt Love. I've felt you deep in my heart, but it was taken from me. It was taken for granted and has never been the same since. 

I see you in my dreams. I hear you in my thoughts. I feel you in my soul. My body yearns for you. 

Years have passed and I've watched you grow. 

I've wanted to turn my back on you. I've thought about it soo many times, but how can I?!?! You keep me going. You keep me sane. You keep me motivated. 

Love. You see potential in all my flaws. I dont know why you keep up but you do. You except me. You Love me for Me. 

How can I leave you now?!?! You make me feel young again. You are the reason for the butterflies. You are the reason for the nervousness. You are the reason that I've wanted to start over. You are the reason that I've wanted to give this "Love" thing another try.

You have made me better in more ways then one. I love you. And I think that those 3 words are more then enough to express just how I really feel about you. 


Smooches xoxo

Sexy

Smooches xoxo

Perdoname

There are things that just dont last. No matter how hard you want them to be "forever" it just IS NOT possible. 

This is for you. The one person I have yet to be able to apologize to for all the harm and pain that I've cause you. No matter what I did, no matter how much I betrayed you, no matter how much I disappointed you in my decisions, you have yet to turn your back on me. You try, believe me I know you want to, but it's not in your heart to do that to me. 

I love you. I love you more then any words could ever describe. I know I haven't been perfect. I've tried to be what you've wanted, I've tried to be what you always expected me to be but my life took another turn. I never expected it to get to this, please believe me when I tell you that I never wanted to hurt the way that I did. I'm not trying to give reason to my faults because I don't have a good argument but I am asking you for forgiveness. I'm asking for another chance. Im asking you to ounderstand that my decisions are MY decisions. Im asking you to allow Lindsay Desire Graciano to be just that, Lindsay Desire Graciano. 

I'm know I'm not perfect. I avoid conflict by keeping what I really feel inside. Im indecisive. I'm fearful. I'm hardheaded. I don't listen very well. I'm TOO emotional. I can keep going... but YOU, you have the biggest heart. You deserve to have EVERYTHING. You deserve the world and if I could give it to you, whatever it takes, believe me I would do it for you. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you. You have been the biggest influence in my life. With you it was love, hate, anger, disappointment, selfishness, heartache, disapproval, unworthiness.... EVERY emotion possible.... we've been thru it. 

Mira, writing is what I know. Writing is what you taught you so thats what Im doing. I love you. I love you more then life itself. You and the girls are the only ones that I would give my life to, because all three of you deserve it. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You possibly deserve a much better life then I could have ever gave you and I just wish that I could have gave you all that and more.

I dont know if you will ever read this. I hope that maybe one day I'll be able to print it out and just hand it to you just so you know.... but for what it's worth I am sorry. I would apologize to you for the rest of my life if that meant that I could take it all back. I should have never been that way towards you. I should have never took you for granted. I love you. I love you soooo much (obviously cuz you have me writing this.)

Te Amo. Asi de simple.

Smooches xoxo

 

Friday Night Lights

Love me some J Cole. I've been anticipating this mixtape. Shit is CRACK. Cole doesnt disappoint. STAMPED

Click right here -----> http://www.mediafire.com/?2bzplvksislkp48


Smooches xoxo

Mos Def On Bill Maher

This is jie old BUT I love Mos Def.

Smooches xoxo

Owww

Smooches xoxo

Fuck You Mean.

Just how I've been feeling.

Smooches xoxo

Till The Lights

Winner's Circle "Till The Lights" featuring the DMV's own Raheem DeVaughn, Phil Ade, Dee Boy, and Stello. "Aint no squares in my circle" so check it out.

Smooches xoxo

Harry VS Marv

Who got dealt the worst end of the stick???

GIFSoup

Marv

GIFSoup

Harry

Smooches xoxo

Cudi On 106 & Park

The video speaks for itself. Lay off that shit babe.

Smooches xoxo

Nas

I love this man.

Smooches xoxo

BUSTED!

Yup! It's true. Wiz Khalifa was arrested last night following his show at East Carolina University. Can you guess what he was arrested for?? BINGO!! His tour bus was raided and OF COURSE they found weed. He was charged with a felony count of trafficking in marijuana, a felony count of maintaining a dwelling/vehicle/place for sale or storage of marijuana and one misdemeanor charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.

More importantly WHY Wiz WHY were you looking like a muthafucking HEAD?!?! Didnt you just come of stage wholetime... smh, nevermind. This is a case of "When tweeting it real goes wrong."

 

Smooches xoxo

How About Them Apples...

Just a few comments from some players in regards to the Wade Garrett situation.....

"Anytime the head coach gets fired, it’s an indictment of the football team," fill-in quarterback Jon Kitna said. "I hope it serves as a wakeup call for guys around here. When they start making decisions like that and things like that happen, it’s just a prelude of things to come as far as changes on the football team." 

-Jon Kitna

"If I knew, I would have said something a long time ago," Ratliff said. "We wouldn’t be here talking about this. Nobody knows. You ask anybody else the same thing and they probably give you the same answer I just did. I’m pretty sure you heard that a lot lately. I can’t quite put my finger on it."

-Ray Ratliff speaks on what went wrong

"I'm just kind of in shock right now," said kicker David Buehler. "It's tough. A guy you respect so much and rally around is gone."

-David Buehler

"Sometimes it’s not all on the coach," Bennett said. "We’ve got to make plays as players. Coaches take the blame for it, but a lot of times, players need to take some of that blame too."

-Martellus Bennett

"Any time someone loses their job, you obviously have something to do with it," Austin said. "It’s tough, you know?"

-Miles Austin

Smooches xoxo

You're Fired!!

We ALL saw this coming. Jerry Jones fires Wade Phillips after losing to the Green Bay 45-7 and fucking up the churches money on Sunday Night.

"I recognized that after the game we just weren't playing winning football and our best chance was to make a change," Jones said. "We are grateful to Wade and his contribution to the Cowboys, leading us. We also clearly understand we are not where we want to be at this time, and that's an understatement. We share the responsibility - all of us."

Jones has promoted offensive coordinator Jason Garrett to take Wade's place on an interim basis. Now who knows how this is gonna work out, some are welcoming the change and ready to see if Garrett will be able to pull these Cowboys out of the rut that they've dug themselves in. Others, like myself, feel that Garrett is part to blame for how shit has been going but we shall see.

Phillips is ending his career as a Cowboy with a 35-23 record, has won 2 NFC East titles, and getting the Cowboys their first playoff win since 1996.

Wade released the following statement:

“I would like to express my sincere appreciation to the fans of the Cowboys and to the entire Jones family for all of the support that we received here in Dallas. I would also like to thank our coaches and players for their loyalty and dedication.

“I told the team today that I have been proud to be a part of their family, and that will never change. I have enjoyed the privilege and responsibility of representing this franchise as its head coach.

“I am disappointed in the results of this season to this point, but I am also very proud of what our team and our players accomplished in the previous three years. In good times and difficult times, our players stuck together and never lost hold of their belief in each other and the strong team bond that they have shared. Family and coaching football have always defined my life and I will always be grateful for my experiences here with the Dallas Cowboys.”

Well Mr. Wade Phillips, it's been fun but apparently Jim Jones sees you as the weakest link.... Goodbye!

 

Smooches xoxo

I Think Im In Love Again...

One day.....

Outkast - Prototype (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: OutKast

Smooches xoxo

Fabulousity

Kimora Lee Simmons is the SHITT. She has it all, does it all, and does it all with her babies. KUDOS.

 

Smooches xoxo

Viva Mexico

Selena Quintanilla

Jessica Alba

Cheech

Kid Cudi

Guillermo Gomez

Jay Hernandez

Jessica Burciaga

Jimi Hendrix

Kevin Alejandro

Mario Lopez

Tony Romo

Salma Hayek

 I Love my fellow Mexicans

Smooches xoxo

Get It!!!

My happy dance

Smooches xoxo

MILF

I just HAD to....

Smooches xoxo

A Father and his Daughter

 Before I get into everything that I need to say I need you to watch the video.

This nicca went OFF. When I first saw it I was like "Well damn. That's how you feel?" Yeah I felt it was jie excessive but once I heard the story behind it smh... I would've been in jail that day. 

As a mother of two and with Ava, 5, now in school I understand how a parent wants to protect their baby from everything and everybody. I would walk clear across the world if it meant my children would be in good health and this man, James, this FATHER took matters into his own hands when it came to his daughter. James' 11 year old daughter Chatari suffers from cerebral palsy. For weeks she was being bullied by some kids on her bus. She told her teacher, the bus driver, AND a teachers aid and noone decided to take action. These kids on this bus had been poking her with pencils, spitting in her hair, hitting her across the head, throwing erasers at her, touching her breasts and even throwing condoms at her. Chatari got to the point where she didnt want to get on the bus so her father question her, found out what was going on and did what the fuck he had to do.


James Speaks Out

James is now being charged with second-degree misdemeanors, disorderly conduct and interfering with a school function. First off, how can you get upset with a man that is protecting his daughter who has special needs at that from ignorant ass, no manner having little fucking kids. This child went to 3 different people of authority from school.... 3 and not ONE did a damn thing. “Part of the problem we have today is we have these domestic terrorists who are going to school, and we have punk parents who refuse to control their own children.” AND THEN the parents of the bullies wanna feel like their kids were disrespected and say shit like "well I dont even talk to my son like that" well bitch guess the fuck what maybe you should. Maybe you need to start striking fear into your childs heart so he learns some muthafuckin respect. Like forreal?!?! You feel that your child was disrespected because they got yelled at and cussed the fuck out... how about they spit in your kids hair and poke him with pencils, and hit him across the head and see how disrespected he feels then. *sigh* 

This is the statement that was made by the school:

Mr. Jones did not report his concerns to school administrators. He boarded a school bus in a hostile manner and used extreme profanity in threatening the students. This is not acceptable behavior for a parent or any person to use on a bus or in a classroom. Our school district has a strict anti-bullying policy and is committed to investigating and taking action against those who violate this policy.

I swear let one of my kids come to me with some nonsense like this happening in school... Imma go postal "pshoom pshoom everybody gonna die" *Kevin Hart voice* What really makes matters worse though is the fact that none of the bullies have not been dealt with. Their parents havent even made them apologize to Chatari for everything they have put her thru. This is completely disgusting and I am soo enraged with how this case is being handled. Vent over.


Smooches xoxo

Just Put It In My Mouth

Enough said.

Smooches xoxo

Wiz Khalifa

"I like my weed purple, fluffy just like a pillow,

You smoke a little, I love to fill up the cigarello.
Don't ask me How High, baby I'm on Cloud 9,
And I'ma be smokin' and burnin' until I damn die.
Passin it to my people, smokin' it just like it's legal.
Me and A-R higher than two bald eagles."

 

 

Smooches xoxo

The Grass Isn't Always Greener On The Other Side

"Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in on a good thing
Before I'd realized your game

I heard you're going 'round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame

'Cause you dug your own grave" 

~Christina Aguilera 

Dating is really something else now-a-days... You meet someone, talk to them, text back and forth for a little while and see that you actually really like this person soo.... You go out. Movies. Dinner. And sooner or later you get intimate. Normally how it goes. It's also 2010, and unless you are in a relationship with someone more then likely all eggs are not being placed in one basket and there's a third party somewhere. It may not be serious. Maybe someone they just talk to here and there, flirt with a little bit but know there is always someone before you came along. 

Why do we do that? Because everyone has a need or want to "upgrade." We "monkey bar" from person to person depending on what the next one has to offer you. Men and women do it. I'm guilty of having done it before and I'm also guilty of acting outta spite. I knew I had done it in my past but I recently made it clear to myself that I also do it in the present. But I don't do it intentionally. I do it because I don't wanna let myself "go" with someone that doesn't deserve it. I don't want to be taken for a fool. 

Perfect example. I was dating this guy for months, I would say about 7 maybe 8 and shit was cool. He was very open with the fact that he was seeing other women and I couldn't get mad at that because we were both single... like he said "Im single and just having a good time. I don't know why you don't do the same." Problem with that statement was that I was having fun, but the fun I was having was with him. He also had said to me that "we're acting too much like a couple and it makes me uncomfortable," smh so me being me I stepped the fuck back. And slowly but surly shit just changed between us. He started doing his own thing and I started doing mine. He was still my go-to guy when I needed some lovin but we weren't how we used to be. 

He noticed that I wasn't "acting" normal. It wasn't that I was acting any kinda way it was the fact that I started pulling myself back from him. I started doing to him what he had been doing to me for months... <--- SPITEFUL. *shrugs* I didn't want to be hurt or have him thinking that I was some dumb broad he was just gonna get over on. But the issue that I'm having with this scenario is not that he pushed me to the side to do his thing.... it's that when I did to him what he did to me it was an issue. In his eyes I was wrong. In his eyes I didn't care. In his eyes I was playing games. Nicca WHAT?!?! I was doing the exact same thing he was so how is it that I get the short end of the stick and get bitched at for it??

I'll never completely understand the way men think... EVER. You made your bed now lay in it. This is why I want guys to keep it dougie with me so we both have a clear understanding about what we are. I don't fuss about what is and what isn't if I KNOW, but if you say one thing and act another then I'm gonna react based on your actions and I know quite a few of my friends that do the same thing.

Men do it allll the time, say the three words that makes a woman think that maybe just maybe he really wants to be with you, "I Love You." That statement is thrown around so much it's sad honestly. I don't want anyone that Im with to feel obligated to say those words to me EVER. I don't care if we have been "together" for over a year, dont say it if you dont mean it. I would rather have a guy tell me "I love having sex with you" then saying "I love you" JUST to keep having sex. And then men wonder why women act all crazy on them... "Thin Line Between Love And Hate" is a prime example of the L word being thrown around and a bitch going psycho on his ass. 

You never know out here is all Im saying. Be careful. 

I would really like shit to change but I know it wont. Im tired of the double standards, tired of everyone sleeping with everyone, tired of real love slowly dying. 

Smooches xoxo

*Sigh*

It be like that sometimes... I feel you Alice.

Smooches xoxo

"Fuck The Other Side They Jealous..."

Smooches xoxo

#KanyeShrug

I dont care what NOONE says, I love me some Ye.

Smooches xoxo

Don't Save Her...

 

Your girlfriend is really beautiful. 

Thank You.

Do you know she's a bird?

No I never noticed that....

Smooches xoxo

Cyhi Da Prynce "Royal Flush"

Coming out of Atlanta Cyhi Da Prynce is the latest addition to Kanye West G.O.O.D. Music Family. I had heard a few tracks from this mixtape and loved them so decided to check it out and definitely digging it. 

Download the mixtape http://www.sendspace.com/file/9twt3q

Smooches xoxo

Laura Dore

I couldn't help it.... She is absolutely gorgeous. Laura Dore is from Austin, Texas and has been modeling since 2006. She's been in magazines such as Girls of Lowrider, Street Low, FHM, and XXL. She was also in Slim Thug's "Theme Song," Kanye's "Amazing," and Jamie Foxx's "Digital Girl." All I can say is WOW.

Smooches xoxo