Can You Pay My Bills?

I was up one night talking to a friend of mine about the fallout I had with my "best-friend." We got into this HUGE discussion about why we stopped speaking, why she was soo upset with me, and why I was soo upset with her and after we got off the phone I stopped, and started reflecting on what happened, well at least how I see it. These are my thoughts....

It's 2010, the era of the independent woman. Now there are levels to this "independence." You got the ones that have their shit together. The one that likes to take herself out, takes care of her babies, buys her own shit, the one that doesnt need a man to financially keep her afloat. The one that treats her man to a movie or dinner every so often, just because. THEN you got the UBER independent woman. You know the one Im talking about, the one that dont need no man for shit, has her own car, pays her own bills, Ms. I can do bad all by myself. Now dont get me wrong I am ALL for a woman that can stand on her own two feet but some of these ladies out here are forgetting just that... That we're ladies. They dont allow men to court them anymore which eventually puts strain on a relationship because your man sees that you dont need him.

Now lets switch it up right now and go to the next extreme... The woman that believes having a man can fulfill her every emotional and financial need. SMH.... WHY!! One thing I've learned, not just from dating but from every relationship is to NOT depend on someone else. If you start depending on someone especially on the opposite sex (yeah this can go for men too) you're gonna end up disappointed.

Back to my conclusion on the fallout...

My ex-friend just so happened to be the "I need a man cuz I cant pay my bills" which caused total conflict in our friendship. She chose the steady paycheck from a man that is controlling, insecure, and doesnt make her happy ALL because she wasnt making enough money. She found herself in financial turmoil and started making bad decisions. Another lesson I've learned is to NOT make any sudden decisions when it comes to who you "date" when in crisis.

If you lost your job and dont have a dime to your name... you dont need a man, you need to find another job.

If you arent happy with your living situation... you dont need a man, you need to move.

If you feel that you dont make enough money... you dont need a man, you need another job.

If your car broke down... you dont need a man, you need either a mechanic or a new fucking car.

What Im trying to say is that a man is not gonna solve your problems... SHIIT them niccas may ADD on to what you have going on. If you want to be happy... Be happy with yourself first before trying to jump into a relationship thinking that the relationship will make everything better. Things wont get better, they will only get worse because you depended on that person to get you out of your rut, and life doesnt work like that. You dug yourself in the hole now be strong enough to climb out on your own two. 

Smooches xoxo